At my first design meeting with clients, we discuss a lot things, including colors, style, stock, wording and upgrades. I find myself intermingling a few interesting etiquette details into the meeting and my clients always seem surprised by these tidbits. I’m aware that the majority of my couples have no clue about these ‘rules’, so I thought it would be perfect for a blog post.
You should not include registry information on your wedding invitation. This information should be provided via word of mouth from parents and wedding party to other guests. It’s also the perfect information to go on your wedding website.
If you are getting married in a church, use the wording "request the honor of your presence". If you are getting married in a non-church venue (hotel, inn, park, etc.), use the wording "request the pleasure of your company". Now, many of my couples choose to break this rule, and I’m 100% good with that. Choose the wording that fits your wedding and tastes best, but I still feel the need to share the rule! Oh, and a bonus tidbit, honor is the American spelling and honour is the British spelling of the same word. (Same goes with favor and favour.) Some people feel the British spelling makes the invitation more formal, but I always fell clients to go with their personal preference.
If a guest is over 18, but living at home, they should get their own invitation. I know, I know...I always hear about that family that has three cousins that are in college and still living at home and that means 4 invitations for one family. Well, yes, it does. Again, take the rule, or break the rule...it's up to you!
Who pays for the wedding is who invites to the wedding. If the bride's parents are paying then they are the ones inviting (Mr. & Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence...). If the bride and groom's parents are splitting costs equally, then they both invite. (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Frank Jones request the honor of your presence...). If the couple, along with both sets of parents are paying, the they all invite. (Together with their parents, bride and groom, request the honor of your presence...)
Save the Dates should be mailed 6-8 months prior to the wedding. Invitations should be mailed 8 weeks before the wedding. (Yes, only 8 weeks prior..you can push out to 12 weeks for a destination wedding.) But, please, do not mail your invitations 4 months prior to the wedding. I know you are excited, but if you want people to respond on time and with a response that won't change, stick to the 8 week rule. Response date should be 4 weeks prior to the wedding.
Hope you enjoyed these enlightening etiquette rules for invitations! If you have more questions, check out my Stationery Guide for more information. Happy Inviting!